Memories, past
by Radical Princess
Summary: one-shot, As harry sits in the park he remembers what life was like when his parents were still alive. (I suck at summaries, not as boring as it sounds)


O.K. Hi everyone. I'm Radical Princess and this is my first one-shot. Please review to let me know if you like it, or how I could improve.

Memories, past  
  
Harry wondered aimlessly in the streets around Privet Drive. He had been out all day and wouldn't come back until he had to. He didn't want to speak to anybody. He didn't want to see anybody. He wanted to be alone. He had wanted to be alone ever since Sirius had passed away. He still couldn't believe it. It couldn't be real. He felt like he was in a bad dream, a nightmare. He would wake up sometime and it would all be better. Sirius would be alive. His life would be happy...well as happy as it could be. But somewhere deep inside him, he knew that this was always going to happen. That Sirius was always destined to die, and he, Harry, was always destined to be lonely. That was how it was, that was how it had always been, and that was how it would always be.  
  
But when he had gone to Hogwarts he had found happiness. He had found friends and he had found people he could always talk too, people who cared for him. But now he felt awkward when he was around them. He felt as though he had lost the only people who he could ever talk to. Harry sighed and sat down heavily on an old wooden swing. He bent down his head and felt a tear slide slowly off his cheek. He hadn't cried for so long, he thought miserably. He wiped away the other tears that were threatening to fall.  
  
A ball suddenly came and stopped right by his legs. He looked up and saw a small boy running toward him. He stopped as he as came closer and looked doubtfully at Harry. Harry tried to look as nice and gentle as he could look and kicked the ball slowly back to the boy. The boy picked up the ball and smiled suddenly.  
  
"Thank-you" He said and then ran back to his Dad. Harry watched as the boy and his Dad played soccer. Harry stared. He couldn't bring himself to look away. He noticed every small detail and contact between the boy and his dad. He noticed how gently and loving the boy's father patted him on the head when he kicked the ball in the wrong direction. He noticed how he always played easy, so the little boy could win. Harry sighed, more then anything in the world he wanted his parents back. He could almost remember the way his dad laughed when he had thrown his food on the carpet.  
  
There was only one memory that was vivid in his head. Somehow, he could still remember this one moment when he had been together with his parents. Harry closed his eyes and remembered the moment he always remembered when he was sad, or lonely...  
  
_Harry was lying happily in his cot. He had a blanket on top of him to keep him warm and had just woken up from a refreshing sleep. Lily leaned over the cot and smiled at Harry.  
  
"Hello my sweetie pie. Are you awake?" She said gently in a sweet voice.  
  
Harry could see James lean over the cot too. "There's my big, strong boy! How about a walk to the park Lily? We can take Harry too and maybe a picnic."  
  
"That's a great idea." Lily agreed. "I'll get the picnic ready, you dress Harry, it's very cold outside." He could hear Lily's footsteps going down the stairs. He could hear his father rummaging in the closet to find him a jumper.  
  
"Here you go." Harry felt the jumper going over his head. "Now you're all warm and we can go and enjoy the picnic." James carried Harry downstairs where Lily was making sandwiches and packing some soft food for Harry. "Ready Lily?"  
  
"Nearly..." Lily finished packing the basket and picked it up. "O.K, let's go."  
  
They stepped out of the door and Lily locked it. "Isn't it lovely?" Lily said when they started walking. And she was telling the truth. It was autumn and so the trees were all red and orange. Fallen leaves littered the floor and left a red carpet to walk on. The sky was blue and the grass was green. "It's a perfect day for a picnic." Lily said happily. James smiled; he always liked it when Lily was happy.  
  
"And its Harry's first picnic isn't it Harry." James said happily, rocking Harry back and forth.  
  
"Stop rocking him." Lily ordered. "He'll go back to sleep, you don't want that, look his eyes are already drooping." James stopped rocking him as Lily had said. Instead he started humming a tune in his head. "Look there's the park." James said as soon as the park came into sight. The walked in the gate and found a nice spot under a tree to sit.  
  
Lily spread the mat on the grass and sat down gracefully. James followed, flopping down with Harry on his lap. Lily began to unpack the picnic basket as James started tickling Harry gently. Harry giggled happily. He was with his family...he was with people who loved and cared for him...he was with people that he loved and cared for...  
_  
Harry sighed unhappily as he started drawing circles in the ground with his feet. He watched the ground as he scraped away the circles with his feet to leave a bare space, like his heart, he thought miserable. When he had lost Sirius, it had left a hole in his heart. The hole that had been filled since he found out Sirius was his Godfather. It was gone now, like before, he was alone, and there was no one there.  
  
Harry suddenly realised that someone was standing in front of him. He looked up and saw the little boy standing in front of him apprehensively.  
  
"Um...," started the boy, "you looked lonely, so I was wondering if you wanted to play soccer with us."  
  
Harry stared at the boy and his father for a few second before smiling. "Thanks," he said, "I'd love to."  
  
Harry got up and followed the boy back his dad. In a few minutes Harry was laughing and playing with the boy and his father. He kicked the ball and scored a goal. Harry smiled, he realised that it didn't matter that his father wasn't here, or his mother or Sirius. He realised that nothing would be solved if all he thought about was how he had lost them. They were gone, and he was sad, but he had to move on. He could still have a great life without them. And though he loved them very much he decided that they wouldn't have wanted him to be thinking about them all the time. Harry laughed as he felt that a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and he decided that he would make his parents proud of what he did with his life.

------------------did you like it? I hope you did. Please reveiw!


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